Big City Fritz

November 13, 2005

Billy’s 7-month old cousin Fritz had a weekend of firsts. It was his first trip to the big city and the first time ever swimming in a natural body of water. Billy quickly established who was boss by publicly humping young Fritz in broad daylight at the corner of Roscoe and Damen. Billy then tutored Fritz on all the joys of city living, such as how to maximize the number of trees urinated on in a single walk, all the best places to hunt for squirrels and stray cats, and how to take a swim in the vast pristine waters of Lake Michigan. They had a little bit of communication problems, as Fritz speaks German with a little bit of broken English, while Billy speaks Spanglish. When asked if he enjoyed his first visit to the city, Fritz said “All free dogs, wherever they may live, are citizens of Chicago, and therefore, as a free dog, I take pride in the words ‘Ich bin ein Chicagoan.'” William scoffed, saying “Dios mio man, I can’t believe you just stole that famosa quote from El Presidente Kennedy.”

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3 Responses to “Big City Fritz”

  1. Wegerballs Says:

    Dear Billy-
    Thanks for showing me around the big city. I told my parents that I want to move there because of all the lakes, trees and dog parks. I am so tired after the long weekend that I’m going to take my 10th nap of the day.
    Love,
    Fritz

  2. sheikh Says:

    billy looks like such a pompous ass in that picture. but in a good way.

  3. Benny Says:

    as of this morning, billy is still a very grumpy dog. fritz wore him out and really made billy show his age (which is 42). i don’t think he was very happy that the new dog in town was getting all of the attention and he is taller than him already. also, i think he is still pissed that we chopped his balls off back in 2000.


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