March 17, 2006
chris spitzer, aka “the irish lion,” recently commented that he wished every day was st. patrick’s day. he could not be reached via phone for for clarification on his comment, and failed to return several voicemails. but he did return an email, explaining his love for the irish holiday.
“green eggs and green beer for breakfast, corned beef sandwiches for lunch, and a burrito for dinner. and more green beer non-stop throughout. does it get any better than that? oh yeah, it does…people call me the irish lion all day. of all my nicknames, that has to be my favorite. I love st. pattie’s day.”
whatever makes you happy eddie ballroom blitzer cheese blintzer c.r. spitter robbie clitzer. whatever makes you happy.
happy saint patrick’s day, suckas!
March 16, 2006
3/16/06, Michiagan City, IN
Local man Kashif Mohammed Sheikh has started a grassroots protest of the huge mega festival Lollapalooza this year. The man finds himself angered that Ryan Adams while he will be performing will not be considered a headliner and isn’t even featured in the main page of http://www.lollapalooza.com/default.asp?fd=1.
“I mean I found out months ago that Ryan was signed up for the event this year. The day they released the line-up I quickly went to the main site expecting to find a picture of Ryan in all his glory. Utter dissapointment. Death Cab for Cutie? Come on. Luckily I had my signed copy of the vinyl of “Destroyer Sessions” and blew my load all over that.”
Sheikh then commented he would rather stick to seeing Adams at smaller places, because that’s what the real fans do.
March 15, 2006
some of you may not know that kevin was promoted recently. despite several attempts at finding out the details of his new job, no one was really sure exactly what he got promoted to. until last weekend, that is. in the middle of a st. patrick’s day drinkoff, kevin dropped his pants in the middle of mcgee’s tavern and grille and showed us all why he earns the name “king moss.” i mean that in the figurative sense, of course, as all he did was reach into his wallet and bust out his new business card. i have scanned a copy as proof:
great, now both he and katie can fire people.
March 13, 2006
March 11, 2006
chicago natives gathered this saturday for the annual st. patrick’s day tradition of dying the river green. things were going well, until the arrival of indianapolis resident becca hullinger and her furry sidekick billy ray valentine. “we were standing by the river for a photo op, and out of nowhere comes this bitch and jumps in our photo!” said lindsey snodgrass (in the pink, clutching her cell phone and starbucks). “then we turn around, and there’s a fucking dog in the river!”
when asked why she jumped in the photo, becca replied “I just got caught up in the moment and the spirit of the parade. I think that’s why william jumped in the river too.”
after wading around for 35 minutes, billy finally came ashore and escorted becca back to roscoe village in time for the indiana game.
March 8, 2006
I had my chance but I let it slip away in the second round tonight. Came up a little short. Maybe I wasn’t mentally prepared. Talk about a bitter pill to swallow. Not to take away anything from Stacie, but I just didn’t get the job done. I don’t want to point fingers but the that girl may have been a low level gypsy. I just didn’t get the big breaks today. I’ll just have to put this loss behind me and get ready for next year. It’s been a great ride.
March 7, 2006
Ah, the Annual Chicago Blackhawks Hockey Outing. After the NHL strike killed it in 2005, it returned again last Friday to the tune of 57 people, the largest one yet. I think I’m going to start calling it the annual Black’Outing…because that’s always what seems to happen. We knew that when we started off the first Friday of Lent at a place that serves “Cheeseborgers Cheeseborgers,” that karma was not on our side. But it was clear the night would end up ugly when a beautiful woman at the United Center named Shavonda was pouring drinks with just a splash of Coke. I’ll let the pictures tell the rest of the story: